They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
