Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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