im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
sarcasm needs its own font
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
