last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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