I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
