I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
