shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize