i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
