I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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