your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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