the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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