drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
