Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
