We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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