I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize