Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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