We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
