Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
