When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
