I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
