sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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