Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
My pussy is not your playground.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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