I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
she looked like the before picture.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
