the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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