Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I cut my penus on the lid.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize