Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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