he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
