I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
