she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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