But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize