fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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