So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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