did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
