I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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