Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
