I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
