The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Bring me that man meat
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
