the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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