Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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