I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
