so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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