So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize