kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
