He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
