He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
