Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
