When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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