i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
