Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
false alarm, still single
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
