i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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