Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
