he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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