we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
