I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
