My brain says no but my pants say off.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize