So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
