There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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