fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
