I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just invented taco cereal.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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