...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
