it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize