You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
