Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
