Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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