Pregnant stripper...not hot.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
