STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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