I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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